arch/ive/ief (2000 - 2005)

Millions of Movie-Goers Take Gibson Film "Far Too Seriously"

In the most startling display of people taking a film's inherent message far too seriously, almost 75% of Americans now base their religion on the story depicted in Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ." Theologian Tom Sandell sat down and talked to us about this extraordinary phenomenon.

"It was strange, a few years ago, when people tried to get `Jedi` listed as a religion, because they were simply basing their beliefs around a fictional idea from a science fiction movie. Albeit, the movies were good, but to base a religion around them seemed preposterous to any thoughtful person" said Sandell. "And now, a few years later, over 70% of the American population are basing their religion around that new Mel Gibson movie... Passion Of The something or other... Well, that's just weird! One has to wonder why they didn't pick a better film to use for the basis of their religion, perhaps one with character development," Sandell continued.

Asked about what kind of impact this will have on future generations, Sandell noted that "many religions come from what we, today, might call preposterous ideas. However, I see that this religion may stick around for thousands of years to come, almost to the point where many of its followers might not know the whole, true story, of what it is about."

Christian believer Brian Tozer of Detroit, Michigan, said "I loved the film, it was a great movie, and it let me see the true sacrifice of what The Christ did for me." When asked how he enjoyed the film's other characters, he asked us "What other characters?"

All calls to Mel Gibson's production company in regards to what their take on this new phenomenon is were rejected.