Imad (IMC Beirut) in Bagdad

The night cold grew warm, and now it is a pleasant breeze at night, delicate to a smooth chill when you are sitting outdoors. Across my apartment there is a patio overlooked by two palm trees. One of my pleasures here is to sit outside in the striking moonlight and look up at the palm trees and the sky in the background. I have always heard about the beauty of the sky in the desert, but I never thought it would be as mesmerizing, intriguing and meditative. I still have ten days in Baghdad and I believe I will miss it dearly when I leave.

Yesterday was intense, as when I got out of the nearby Internet café I was surprised to see two American military vehicles parked in front of the adjacent restaurant. Fully armed soldiers where outside while two of them kept going in and out of the restaurant with guns dangling from their shoulders as people including families went in to buy food for the approaching Iftar time. There is nothing more repulsive to me than seeing guns and soldiers let alone seeing them around children and civilians.

I decided to stand aside and watch just in case they do something that needs to be documented, or requires any legal advisory action. I stood for about half an hour with nothing happening except few children trying hard to wave to one of the soldiers and signaling for him to approach them to no avail. Finally he looked at them with a smile and shook his head in refusal noting that he is not allowed to leave his post. They went on non-stop till the minute I left, thirty minutes later.

People in Iraq drive in the wrong lanes all the time, and go in the opposite directions on regular basis that it became a norm. As I stood there watching the US soldiers kick back in their vehicles waiting for something I had no clue about in front of Saj Al Reef Restaurant, cars drove by as usual with and against the flow.

Ten minutes later a car approached the US army vehicles driving in the opposite direction - again something so normal in Baghdad. One of the soldiers at this moment was standing in front of the car smoking a cigarette and another was on the top of the car with his machine gun pointed at the street. The one on the top shouted franticly at the driver to stop the car and detour as he pointed his gun at the car in a defensive manner. The one standing in front of the vehicle, unknowing of his friend's response, signaled to the man carelessly to approach and move forward. The poor confused driver froze not knowing what to do, then started screaming that he needs to get to the restaurant and to detour will get him in a long route to reach the place, explaining that he is few meters away. The soldier at the top started signaling with his gun to the man to go back as he was shouting his head off. The other soldier in front of the vehicle decided to change his mind and asked the driver to detour. The stubborn driver parked in place (with what looked like his family in the car) trying to convince the paranoid confused soldiers to let him cross the few meters to Saj Al Reef. All this was taking place with English from the side of the US soldiers and Arabic from the side of the driver, clearly without anyone understanding a word from the other side. It was a freaky moment when the soldiers got out of the vehicle - except for the alarmed one on the top – and started walking towards the car with their pointed guns. I started moving involuntarily towards the car in order to practice some direct action conflict resolution in case they decided to do anything to harm the passengers of the car or the driver. Before I got close, the scared driver turned the car around and left. I hailed a cab as the soldiers went back to their vehicles waiting for their commander who was trying the traditional saj sandwich inside!!! (As I learnt later)

This incident rushed the adrenaline to my brain and choked my guts. These soldiers risking their lives and terrorizing civilians at the same time so their commander can enjoy a sandwich! A fact that disgusted me big time. I felt sorry for them being manipulated by their government to be here feeling scared, alarmed and insecure all the time towards any mobility coming from a non-American! And yet I hated their stupidity and immaturity believing the crap that the Bush administration filled their heads with pushing them to risk their lives for the sake of greed and capital.

Later on that evening an Iraqi young man was searching me, as usual, in the all-pedestrian zone leading to Hotel Palestine as I was on my way to see a friend. American soldiers never deal with people unless it is something extreme, yet this time I got lucky. As I was being searched one of the US soldiers standing aside said I have a "nice one" as he pointed to my piercing – great, contact established for the fist time. Unfortunately and due to what happened in front of Saj Al Reef earlier, I was in no mood to start a conversation with the occupation forces and I wrongfully lost temper. I replied hastily that I did not have to kill innocent civilians to get it. Something that stunned the soldier and his friend as the Iraqi youngster froze though he was clueless of what is being said - but I guess he could sense the hostility in my vocal tone, or maybe he could sense my jerking knees despite the stern look on my face. He looked at the American soldier for orders, the later signaled for him to go on and turned his face away as his friend kept staring at me. I walked away after my search has been concluded feeling stupid for terminating the conversation at that early stage, promising myself more constraint next time, thought I believe we all should make the soldiers feel unwelcome and not at ease for being here, especially internationals.

Yesterday morning I took part in the 35th anniversary of one of the famous Iraqi workers strikes in the 60's that resulted in the assassination of one and detention of many. As usual around the Arab world, speeches, promises and cliches slogans poured from every side. One speech was breath taking as it told a personal account from the strike in 1968 and was given by one of the union leaders back then and who is now in his early 60s. It was so poignant and empowering in its facts and the speaker's commanding tone and presence that the crowd could not but give it a standing ovation.

I spent the first part of today at the Organization for Women Freedom in Iraq doing some work for them. Later I hung out with Salam my flat mate who took me around the city. We walked in the crowded streets, visited the public crowded market, ate the Iraqi version of Falafel which turned out to be tasty to the extent that I can not wait to eat more tomorrow. Salam also took me to have some Shirbat (juice) then to this local restaurant where I was grossed out at first, and faked fullness but then I tried one dish as not to embarrass my sweet Salam. The dish, which was made of eggplants, onions, tomatoes and potatoes all cooked in a sour spicy sauce, was yummy. I ended up ordering a share on my own along side the yummy Iraqi rice and eating half of it (yet trying not to think of the dirty floor).

The fondness I have for Baghdad is growing, and I am trying to see as much as possible before I leave, 11 more days are nothing. I believe I will be coming back. This first visit was enough to establish contacts and do some interviews for the publications I am volunteering for, yet next time I believe more action can be done, action that is highly needed to shift the world's attention to atrocities the occupation is committing here.

In three days time is the international day against the apartheid wall in Palestine. I have some ideas for protest here that I am still discussing with activists who have been here longer than me and might have other insight on the suitability of such action. Tomorrow I shall know.

Occupation is horrible, let alone if you feel that the majority of the occupying forces are victims of their own regimes. Puts you in a state of confusion. Yet knowing that one victim chose to be here to inflict suffering though brainwashed and the other victim had no say in his/her suffering. The later resided under a long dictatorship that carried on three wars inflicting suffering on its own people. Then the dictatorship was conjoined by economic sanctions (with the United Nations as a godfather) yet adding to the agony of the crowds killing thousands of children over the years. The dictatorship and the sanctions were followed on by an unjust war for oil resulting in occupation, unemployment, poverty, chaos, mass insecurity and terrorist attacks against civilians.

arch/ive/ief (2000 - 2005)