arch/ive/ief (2000 - 2005)

HIGH COURT
==========
(The Five Judges)

(Judge T., Judge B., Judge S., Judge M. and Judge K.)

Appendix to 1st VERDICT
-----------------------

"A music nothing called the Beatles"
------------------------------------

There is much more that can be considered and that can be revealed about the worst musicians on Earth, if musicians at all, namely: The Beatles.
Such bad musicians that George Martin had to pay a session drummer to record "Love me do", because Ringo was unable to play the elementary drumming of the song. Such an elementary drumming that even a beginner could play, but not Ringo....
Such bad musicians that they had to ask another two fingers bad guitar player called Eric Clapton to do solos on their songs because George Harrison could not produce reasonable guitar string vibrato....
Such bad musicians, if musicians at all, that at the studio they had to record their elementary songs over and over again about a thousand times because every take was full of blunders. In fact, on the Beatles' "white album" we hear John Lennon screaming "Í got blisters on my fingers!!", due to the many million times he had to repeat the thing at the studio.....
Such bad musicians that they used the same chord sequence in about 70% of their songs, (I-IV-V-relative minor and their permutations) meaning that they only composed one song and repeated it in different rhythms, Keys and permutations throughout 70% of their repertoire....
Such bad musicians that at the Cavern, about a couple of years back, McCartney had to start the elementary "I saw her standing there" four times because every time he got in he did it out of time. Ironically, the session musicians he played with that night started the song ok, but McCartney could not....

The Beatles were such mediocre composers that they stole other people's songs and made it their own, sometimes only changing title and lyrics. Other times they would play other people's songs backwards and steal the melodies and harmonies thus being produced. They've been listening to other people's songs played backwards since 1967. Since then, 40% of their "compositions" have been stolen from backwards-played songs. This trick was also used by "Oasis". They very well knew about this fraud of the Beatles....
George Harrison was taken to court by the "Chiffons" because of stealing one of their songs and calling it "My sweet lord".
The Beatles stole Trini Lopez's "Bamba" and called it "Twist and shouts", pretending it was their own.
The Beatles stole one of the "Salvation Army" songs' and called it "Strawberry fields forever".
The Beatles stole the end of the second part in "A day in the life" from "Men made of match sticks".
John Lennon stole a part of "Jealous guy" (..I began to lose control..) from "She's a rainbow".
John Lennon stole the guitar pattern of "Dear Prudence" from the guitar pattern of "Something in the air".
Paul Mc Cartney stole the bass line of "Susie Q" and used it in "Taxman" and did it again in "Rain". Stole the bass pattern of "Let's spend the night together" and used it in "Get Back" and in "I've got a feeling". Stole the bass line of "My girl" and used it in "Two of us", and so on, and on, and on, and on....
They even stole songs from their own songs. John Lennon stole the chord pattern of "You've got to hide your love away" from "I'm a loser". Stole the guitar pattern of "Dig a Pony" from the pattern in "Two of us". Stole "Merry go 'round" from "Flying". Stole the beginning of "Rocky racoon" from the beginning of "I'm a loser".
George Harrison stole the chords in "Isn't it a pity" from the beginning of "Eight days a week". Stole the first bit of "Fixing a hole" from "Michelle". And so on, and on, and on, and on, and many more ons....

The Beatles were very poor singers, if singers at all. They had no voice for singing. Their voice was very thin and nasal, with no depth, no body and with no vibrato. All they could do was shout. In fact, their lack of voice forced them to shout. The Beatles did not sing, they shouted. They should have left singing to Tom Jones, Humperdink, Joan Baez and so on...The poorest voices in the Beatles were Harrison's and Lennon's. Harrison did not have voice at all, not for even shouting. Lennon's voice was so nasal, that he always did the backing lower voice and when he did not then he shouted. He had a crow's tone. The Beatles had to always use special microphones to add depth to their skinny and nasal voice, and after that, they spent hours at the recording studio embellishing and concealing their nasality with equalizers and effects, that is HOURS....the Beatles were not singers...the Beatles were SHOUTERS....

Being homosexual Brian Epstein the forger of the Beatles project, Epstein instructed the Beatles to let their hair grow, so as to appeal to repressed homosexuality in people. Epstein noticed what the effeminate face of Elvis Presley did on people and the fame he gained because of it, so he played the same card. The Beatles boom was not due to their music, but to their appeal to repressed homosexuality. The Beatles opened the homosexual Aquarius era which is ruled by Uranus, the planet of homosexuality....Musically they were so bad that the A&R of the Decca record firm laughed in the face of Brian Epstein when he listened to the recordings of the Beatles, and he told Epstein that they sounded like tin and that he was not interested. George Martin told Epstein, when he listened to the recordings of the Beatles: "You better go back with your boys to Liverpool", because of how bad the musical quality of the group was.... it was with the idea of the long hair (that would appeal to repressed homosexuality in people) that Brian Epstein was able to convince George Martin.....

They were possibly the ugliest faces ever seen on stage. George Harrison's face looked like Frankenstein, John Lennon's face looked like a witch. (They really needed long hair to hide their ugly faces) Paul Mc Cartney had such an effeminate face that he always played the Miss Beatle role. (close friend of homosexual Mick Jagger).

The Beatles degraded the standard of music so much that they made stardom accessible to every music beginner. Thanks to the Beatles we see non musicians and bad musicians on stage. Thanks to the Beatles we have the audience on stage. Thanks to the Beatles anybody is a star, WHOEVER. Thanks to the Beatles we have sound pollution, known by the drugged minds as "rock music". Thanks to the Beatles people do not appreciate the work of quality musicians anymore. Of course the Beatles promoted drugs, so that because of drugs their elementary noise would be perceived as "music" through the handicapped state of appreciation of the idiotic limbo of slowed down mental processes. Thanks to the Beatles we see idiotic music beginners on the "greatness delirium" of a paranoid mental frame induced by drugs....Hebephrenic, Paranoid and Catatonic schizophrenics have become "stars". The stage has become a mental asylum, thanks to the Beatles...

Thanks to the Beatles and the electric guitar with distortion where any note you play would just fit because differences are not noticeable, we have the audience on stage. You just press any string on any fret, wherever...it will do....No one will notice a thing. Any noise would do.... In tune or out of tune, in the scale or out of it, who cares?...the distorted electric guitar will conceal anything...You don't need the slightest knowledge of music. You just buy an electric guitar and a distortion pedal and you are a star....Music?....what's that?.....Music?....WHO CARES?.....
Since the electric guitar was invented anybody is a guitarist,WHOEVER.. With such sensitive strings that even the wind can play just by blowing on it, also due to amplification, anybody can prostitute music,whoever. You just press the strings with the fingers of one hand and it sounds....you can use the other hand to make a phone call at the same time....Even the cat can produce sounds on the electric guitar by walking on the strings.....even your cat can be a star.....
You don't need to practice to play an electric guitar...it sounds on it's own....

Thanks to the electric guitar, bad non guitarists that play with only two or three fingers such as Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Peter Townsend, Keith Richards, John Lennon, George Harrison, Hank Marvin, Sting, Noel Gallagher, Steve Winwood, David Gilmour, BB King, Chuck Berry, and so on, and on, and on, have polluted music, but when you give them an acoustic guitar they can hardly do much,.....strum it at the most....
As a matter of fact, with the exception of "Yes" and "Emerson, Lake and Palmer", you can throw all the remaining "rock bands" into a dustbin....THE LOT....sixty or seventy years of noise making bad musicians or non musicians into a dustbin....together with electric guitars, drugs, "greatness delirium" and all.....

The same applies to synthesizers, samplers and all type of electronic keyboards with sequencers and any kind of electronic tricks that allow bad or non keyboard players to pollute the stage.....Just by pressing a key on these gadgets you hear fat symphonic sounds that resemble the body of a full orchestra, psychedelic ensembles for the drugged minds and so on, that sound as if the performer was using all the fingers of both hands to play it, but when you look at the fingers of the players, they are only pressing one or two keys, that is, they are only using one or two fingers on the keyboard, and sometimes the left hand is never being used, and when it is used, only another one or two fingers come into play....Once again, these gadgets place the audience on stage and allow UNTALENTED idiots to become "stars"....

As another aspect of the music degeneration and quality standard lowering brought about by the Beatles, we see untalented female "singers" with no voice making it big by showing tits and ass on the stage, or by using pornographic gestures, or by insinuating sex in one way or another. If they want to show their tits and asses they should be on pornographic magazines and leave the stage to talented female singers such as Janis Joplin, Joan Baez, Aretha Franklin, Ella Fitzgerald, Diane Ross, and so on...Just recently, one of these idiotic untalented female "singers" was seen on an American TV show performing side by side with Aretha Franklin attempting to copy what the great Aretha was doing...We still wonder how Aretha permitted it....The only way these untalented female "singers" can get on top of the stage is by going to bed with the managers or producers.....
And now, a list of untalented female "singers": Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Shakira, Britney Spears, Cristina Aguilera, Ricky Martin, etc., etc.,...once again, the audience on stage....

And finally let's talk about the "Harmonizer", the gadget that allows non singers and crap singers to "sing". Unfortunately for the Beatles, the thing was not invented at the time they were polluting the stage, otherwise they would have been taken as singers. You sing out of tune and the Harmonizer corrects your voice....Every note you sing that is out of pitch is taken to perfect pitch by the artefact....You have the tone of a parrot?...don't worry....with the Harmonizer you will sound like Caruso. It changes your voice to sound like the voice of any known voice virtuoso, and you can even choose which singer you want to sound like!!!...is that note too high for you?....you'll reach it with the Harmonizer....it will create it from one of your low notes!!!.....the gadget is incorporated in the "karaoke" devices used by the audience on stage.....you just BARK into the microphone and you'll sound as sweet as the nightingale....

All of this thanks to the Beatles and their counterpart the Rolling Stones who opened the door for THE AUDIENCE TO GET ON TOP OF THE STAGE.....

You have been informed.

THE HIGH COURT.
(The Five Judges)

P.S.

In the interest of mankind, you sould email our Verdict to your friends.

First of all, I can't understand why someone would stoop so low in their attack of the beatles and say that their music was for repressed homosexuals. I mean, what about the legions of GIRLS clawing at the stages during concerts? Has this little fact been overlooked? Besides, homosexuals are known for having great fashion sense. Hollywood and most of the fashion industry (the "Image industries") are all known to be made up in large portion by homosexuals. It may come as a shock, but most women would love a guy with some style and class. Most women would love to have a heterosexual man who looks homosexual. Just watch "Queer eye for the straight guy." It is no coincidence.

Secondly, not all music has to be made by those of the highest skill level, especially if those will skill don't have enough sense to write a good song. I find this bergiouse position on who should be making music to be insulting to the rest of the world. Doing so, you exclude the entire genre of folk music or any kind of music that is translated from ear to ear. Why does it matter if you want to voice the G major chord a little bit differen than what was first intended. Once that song is being performed by someone else, it is up to them how they want to play it. Everyone has the right to be a musician if they want. Likewise, everyone has the right to be critic and not listen to a particular kind of music if they don't want to. Music is a free marketplace. Maybe "Emerson, Lake, and Palmer," and "Yes" are just boring? Maybe it doesn't matter how many notes from whatever scale you use in one messure, if the song still sucks. Why would I listen to a bad song with refined musicianship over "Twist and Shout," which by the way was a cover and therefore not elegible for any list of plagurism, because the song credits are clearly marked on the album.

This brings me to my next point which is that the beatles were a actually quite good copy cats. Take any one of their cover songs and put it up against the originals-like Arthur Alexander, Buck Owens, Carl Perkins, and Little Richard-and you will be astonished at how well they recreated the original feel of those songs and even improved them in some instances. With that said, what makes the Lennon/McCartney originals special is the fact that they took their love and mastery for these different genres of popular music (R&B, Country, Doo-Wop, Girl Group) and made it into their own kind of music, Rock and Roll. If music was never allowed to reference other music then we would not have the Beatles and suffice to say that we would not have Yes or Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Even for as much "referencing" as they may have done, I don't think they ever did to the point of plagurising. I dare you to find a blues song that sounds like Eleanor Rigby.

On the topic of the dreaded technological device known as AUTOTUNER, I feel like I should be the one to add to some clarity to this person's paranoia. Stating that one could simply grunt into one of these machines and come out sounding as "sweet as a nightinggale," is just plain false. All autotuner does pull pitches closer to where they should be. For instance, if a singer's pitch is between A and B, then the machine could help pull the tone closer to the actual desired pitch. It is not meant as a replacement for good singing, it only covers up blemishes and helps a good performance sound better. If Autotuner becomes to heavily relied on as a substitute for good singing, it becomes noticable. It can only cover up so much. Anyone with a trained ear can hear when it has been relied on too much. You get an effect much like Cher's recent hit "Do you believe in life after love?" I will agree that some recent artists have relied on it too much, but that is find because it doesn't fool me. If the general listening audience can't tell the difference between what sounds like a robot singing and the find tone and vibrato of Aretha Franklin, then that IS sad, but I don't think that is the case.