arch/ive/ief (2000 - 2005)

Why did the chicken cross the road ?
by Chicken Friday March 30, 2001 at 04:37 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

RENE DESCARTES :
To get on the other side.

PLATO :
For its own good. The truth is on the other side.

ARISTOTELES :
It's a natural thing for chickens to cross roads.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To go where no other chicken has gone before.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING :
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client,helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the new Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting opened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills
in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear,
and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution conducive towards the creation of a total business
integration solution.

RICHARD M. NIXON :
The chicken has never crossed the road. I repeat : the chicken has NEVER crossed the road.

SIGMUND FREUD :
The fact that you are thinking about the fact that the chicken has crossed the road, clearly shows your strong feelings of hidden sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES :
We just finalised the new #Office Chicken 2000#, who will not only allow chicken to cross roads, but will also classify eggs, manage your important documents, and give you advise on matters of sexual insecurity.

ALBERT EINSTEIN :
It's not sure that the chicken has crossed the road. Maybe the road has been moved under the chicken.

GALILEO GALILEI :
And yet it has crossed ...

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die. Under the rain. In the dark.

JOHN RAMBO :
Colonel ? I missed one !

OUR PRIME MINISTER :
The chicken has not yet crossed the road, but the government works at it !

THE SCIENTOLOGIC CHURCH :
The reason is within you, but you don't know it yet. If you invest the moderate sum of 60.000 francs per session, we'll organise a psychological analysis.

FORTISBANK :
Soon it will not be a chicken that crosses the road, but 0.024789352477 EuroChicken.

AN IBM COMMERCIAL :
We propose to construct a technical infrastructure allowing for chickens to cross the roads. A cluster with 52 fault proof servers, linked via an FDDI network with 10 Tb of redundant disk space should do the job. You'll just need a few hundred licenses of Websphere, DB2, Netview and OS/2,
because all of those products are completely integrated for solving road crossing problems. By the way, our daily rate is 65.000 BEF per day, and it should take less than 25 manyears.

BILL CLINTON :
I SWEAR on the constitution that nothing happened between this chicken and me.